3 Weeks BZAD (Gallion, Ohio):

BBC News:  "-polar vortex has driven down freezing winds through much of the northern hemisphere, surprising analysts in Wales who had been expecting a thaw earlier this week.  Unfortunately for us, it doesn't seem to be slowing down any time soon.  Meanwhile, natives of Peru have been urged to lay lines of salt along their windows, doorways and edge of walls as ant invasion has crippled food supplies and-"

SFX:  "Click"

FOX News:  "-MTA has shut down all traffic after more corpses were found, making many commuters question if a serial killer is at work.  The MTA and NYPD declined comment, but are denying access to the bodies, citing the nature of the ongoing investigation as needing-"

SFX:  "Click"

Alex:  "Okay, okay, so, any woman in the world I could have in here with me instead of you?"

Jake:  "Right, but just one.  And they're not drunk or anything, just trapped here with you."

Alex:  "Olivia Wilde.  No, wait, Milla Jovovich."

Jake:  "Like either of them wouldn't risk the storm rather than being stuck with you."

Alex:  "Ha ha, fuck you.  What about you?"

Jake:  "You know what, you're right, this was stupid..."

Alex:  "What?  No.  You kept bugging me to play along to ease the boredom.  So who would you pick?"

Jake:  "Yeah, but this isn't really helping and-"

Alex:  "Pearl?"

Jake:  "I said I didn't want to play anymore Alex."

Alex:  "Shit, you really would, wouldn't you?  Any girl in the world-"

Jake:  "Drop it."

SFX:  "Creeeak"

Alex:  "-and you'd pick Pearl Mandel?  Hey, wait, come on, don't be like that."

SFX:  "SLAM!"

Alex:  "Five...  Four...  Three...  Two..."

SFX: WIND HOWLING.

Alex:  "One."

SFX:  "SLAM!"

Jake:  "Fuck it's cold in there!"

Alex:  "Uh, yeah, dumbass.  You never did fix the hole by your window."

Jake:  "Shut it."

3 Weeks, 2 Days BZAD (Galion, Ohio):

Jake:  "You need help with that?"

Alex:  "Fuck it's cold outside.  Yes, please!"

SFX: Jake grunting, slam of heavy items on counter.

Jake:  "Geeze, what the hell did you pack in here?"

Alex:  "A couple cases of beer, a loaf of bread, big-ass ham, few peanut tins, lettuce head, few cans of beans, soup, apples..."

SFX:  Bags rustling, items set on counter, fridge opening.

Jake:  "You really think we need so many cans?  I mean, you've gotta have close to half their stock.  And no junk food?"

Alex:  "Ha ha.  Seriously though, that was what I was able to grab.  When the forecast called for a massive blizzard everyone else must have had the same idea as us.  Prices are going up, no idea if power will go out, people are going into a panic."

Jake:  "It's just a blizzard, it's not like it's the end of the world."

Alex:  "Tell that to them.  If you want to brave the snow.  I'm not heading out there again until it's died down."

Jake:  "That bad?"

Alex:  "The snow was up to my crotch man.  Going to have to check for frost bite."

Jake:  "Ha!  Well, at least stuck inside you'll have blue balls to go with your-"

Alex:  "Shut up!"

3 Weeks, 5 Days BZAD (Galion, Ohio):

SFX: Kssssshhh

Radio: Voice: "-Thank you for that weather update Marcy!  Now, I don't know about you Phil, but all that food scare made my wife spending twice as much getting local produce and stocking up with canned soup and the like."

Radio: Phil: "Yeah, my mother escaped her nursing home and called me on a payphone, telling me to get the bomb shelter under the barn. We sold that property almost thirteen years ago now, and she was there too, Mike."

Radio: Mike: "A shame about her memory. Well, speaking of memory, recent studies from Kent State University have found a way to implant a genetic marker from one species of ant into another, coating it with pheromones from the second colony. This allowed the ant, get this, twice the size of the other ants in the colony-"

Radio: Phil: "Whhhhaaaaat?"

Radio: Mike: "-to blend in and aid in not only expanding the colony tunnels but also defending the colony from other insects, including, are you ready? Defending the colony from the colony it was extracted from while still an egg."

Radio: Phil: "That is just some Twilight Zone stuff there."

Radio: Mike: "Couldn't agree with you more Phil."

Radio: Phil: "Well, if you're looking for weird, scientists across the globe are still puzzling over the migratory change of over three hundred species of birds that had stuck around through winter, but suddenly have started flying toward the equator where ornithologists have found great flocks fighting over territory with one another and even attacking the scientists that got too close."

Radio: Mike: "Somebody pull Alfred Hitchcock out of his coffin and get him to make a sequel."

Radio: Phil: "Speaking of birds, this has been WFXN 's Morning News with Mike and Phil, let's get Garth on deck, bringing you Songbird by Oasis!"

Radio: Music:  "Talking to the songbird yesterday, Flew me to a place not far away, She's-"

4 Weeks BZAD (Galion, Ohio):

CNN:  "Food prices on the rise as FDA inspections have dramatically increased.  Some experts cite the recent strains of antibiotic-resistant Salmonella cropping up as a possible reason, while others believe it has something to do with the discovery of a new type of fungi discovered recently in some imported coffee beans from Brazil and Bolivia.  In other news, a maintenance worker employed by the MTA found four disfigured corpses when checking on a lighting malfunction on the 7 Line underneath the Queensboro Plaza..."

SFX:  "Click"

FOX NEWS:  "Sixty cases of death by Yersinia bacteria found in New York, Shanghai, Canberra, Amsterdam, Cairo and fourteen neighboring cities.  The CDC, World Health Organization and other health agencies have publicly denounced claims of a wide-spread plague resurfacing, pointing to constant statistics over the past decade..."

SFX:  "Click"

BBC NEWS:  "Cattle mutilations across the countryside have South Wales Police baffled as little other than cracked bones and blood were found where only days before large herds had been seen grazing.  No comment was given as to any potential suspects or explored leads..."

Voice:  "Come on Alex, shut that off and come outside!  You have to see this!"

SFX:  "Click"

Alex:  "Alright, alright, I'm coming Jake."

Jake:  "Look at all of them go!"

Alex:  "I thought all the birds had gone south already..."

Cat:  "Mrrr?"

Alex:  "No Faust, none for you.  Sheesh though...  Where are they all going?"